Equanimity

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Recently I was invited by a group of women to visit their book group because MARRIED TO BHUTAN was their read for May. They'd been coming together to talk about books once a month for 13 years, which is amazing. While we sat and had an elegant dinner, I found myself asking them questions. The eight women were very accomplished, gorgeous, articulate-- a very impressive bunch. Most were married with children, and they talked about their kids, their friends, and their jobs. One woman's child was leaving soon to do a volunteer work/vacation in Fiji. They were lawyers, university researchers, psychologists, and one had, that very day, sold her successful organic bakery and was planning to become a professional gardener. They seemed to defy the maxim: You can't have it all. They had everything, including the stress that invariably accompanies fabulous, busy lives. It occurred to me they wouldn't have had that much to relate to in my book. They said they enjoyed the book and loved the idea of escaping "the hamster wheel of doom," although I'm certain none of them would want to change much in their lives, except maybe their stress levels. Community is one way, being a part of a group and doing something you enjoy, like having a book group or a bowling league. It's not that there's no stress in Bhutan. It's just different stress. What I learned living there is to manifest equanimity, an evenness in your thinking that can affect everything you do and ultimately take away a lot of stress. It makes you happier. You can do more and deal with more if you're balanced. To practice equanimity, be aware of thoughts you have and especially note if they are positive or negative. Try to neutralize charged thoughts.  Try to manifest calmness, evenness, a steady mind in the face of hostility, strong emotion, or overcommitment. Just start by being aware of your thoughts.